Hmm..Conundrum

I, yet again, find that when a girl likes me I end up not liking her. Then, once I realize that I do like her I have pushed her too far away and have screwed myself over.

This one though, I'm just going to be an adult about her and just say, "Oh well," and be a good friend and ask for nothing more. There are a lot more girls out there.

Sorry about being an ass to you after that party.

I feel as though I have been ignoring you.

Perhaps that is because I have been cheating on you; I have been writing in my journal I keep with me.
I've started it now that I'm going to college. A simple way to just write each day, almost every day and not worry about it.

It's better that way.
I'll attempt, no-I will write more often on here as well.
University tomorrow, dorm, pack...move..pain...agony...haha...sarcasm...facetious..
Salam Alaykum,
Jared

Today is a New Day

February 1st. My application to U of Iowa is supposed to be completed today..... Will it be?

I hope so. HAHA!

Otherwise I had a wonderful night with Tori last night? a few hours ago. We have decided to be exclusive. I'm doing something I normally don't, but I want to give it a chance and I like her. She's different. She's smart, funny, weird sometimes, goofy, sexy, attractive, fit, and just all around fun. I love that she works out. I don't know why, but I do.

Movies movies movies

I recently watched Taken, Gran Torino, and Slumdog Millionaire. All three of them are amazingly good. Spectacular in fact. Also, I watched Defiance and Valkyrie. While these aren't as good as the former three, if they had come out at another time I would be saying the same thing.

I next need to watch the Curious Case of Benjamin Button and The Wrestler. However, I have yet to do that.

I just figured I would let who ever reads this know. That those are five movies they shoudl DEFINITELY watch.

Cheers.

A Deck of Cards and a Year's Worth of Goals

So, in an effort to actually change myself for the better. Rather then make some unrealistic goal that I won't ever actually do, I decided to write as many goals or things I want to aspire to on a deck of cards. Anything and everything I could think of went down. Here are those goals.
Large Writing denotes a completed or past goal
Short Term-In no special order
Do 20 Pullups in a row.
300 jump ropes in a row(without making a mistake-thats the tricky part)
Kiss a girl not from my hometown.
Kiss a girl from my hometown. (haha diverse aren't I?)
Get a second job.
Have 1000k saved by march for UK
Do 15 pullups in a row.
Complete apllications to UK
Complete UWash Application by 10th of January(I completed it today.)
Weigh 155Lb.s (At 157Lbs. right now)
Finish all uni applications before deadline.(one down-Iowa and UK next)
Swim Four Laps Nonstop at Rec Center
6:30 Minute Mile
Hold Two Jobs Down
Kiss a girl who's first language is not English
Read Inferno by Dante

Long Term Goals- or goals that I feel will take a bit more time then Short Term
Kiss a girl not from U.S.A
Bench 200lbs. (180Lbs right now)
Pass Calculus AP Test
Score a goal in soccer(high school competitive)
Have a six pack(defined)
Learn Some French
Commit to Something Completely Outside of Myself
Start Varsity Soccer
Get a Second Tattoo
Swim Eigh Laps Nonstop At Rec
Graduate with a 3.25GPA or higher
Score three goals in soccer
Go to beach in summer at least twice a week(when in town)
Learn some Arabic
Go hiking at least four times
Complete Half of my goals before I turn 19(or all that are possible)
Go to Seattle
Go to Another Country
Go Rock Climbing or to Climb Iowa
Play Striker at least once in varsity
Run a 6:15 Mile
500 Jump ropes in a row(no mistakes)

Habit or Lifestyle Goals-I can't determine if I have completed these adequately until the end of the year.

Talk to at least three strangers when I am out and being social
Save $20 from any money I recieve
Swim once a week (failing so far)
1 date per month
Improve School Habits
One good deed per week.(Good so far.)
Change my lifestyle in one way(for positive)
Putt $100 every paycheck towards trip to UK
Improve Money Habits
Don't Smoke Weed
Try a ST or LTR
Date More
Talk to at least one girl every time im out
Be more fun
Eat Healthier
Talk to Dad once a week(so far doing good)

These are my goals for the the year...my lifestyle ones aren't one I expect myself to just suddenly do, but ones that I will work towards the whole year.

I said

That I would post my goals up today, but I have to wait till later tonight.

For some reason I just felt like writing right now.

I'm kind of swamped with school, but I don't even notice it; I probably will put it off until the last minute.

I have to work on my research paper. This is the most important. The other things I can wait till tomorrow or days after or in school to work on them. However, my research paper and my applications are what I must do before I do ANYTHING else.

So, here's to working out and then coming home and doing school work.

Just a Little Update

I finally finished the Walking Drum by Louis L'Amour. I don't know why it took me so long, I loved the book and couldn't put it down, but it took forever to finish.

Definitely a must read.

I wrote out 54 goals for myself for this year.
On a deck of cards.
As I complete one I will burn it and hopefully it has become a part of my life and not just something I did once.

A lot of the goals aren't ones that I can burn off until the next year. Such as lifestyle, habitual goals.

I'll post them all up tomorrow or as soon as possible.

2009 is so Fine

2008 was great, but 2009 will be fine!

So, for the first time in a LOOONG time I got drunk last night. It wasn't the belligerent drunk. Just the damn I feel good drunk. Over at that one place

Now on to the HATT Scavenger Hunt and I'm kind of nervous slash excited for it.

College....GAH!

Applications are now imperative and I have put them off till this point.
*Looks himself in the mirror...points....and says "You sir, are an idiot."*

GAH!

NYU's application is DUE! January first it's 2AM New Years Eve and I'm working on it! WTF!
I'm going to shoot myself for being an idiot.
Looks like I'm not applying to NYU. ACT scores have to be sent directly there. Not going to happen. Damn. Sometimes I shoot myself in the foot, not once but fifty times and with a 12 gauge shotgun.

Better get back to work on it.

Just got a lot done on my applications to UK colleges.


It's my own fault though, all of these troubles.

Scavenger Hunt

So, tomorrow I'm participating the most extreme scavenger hunt of my life. Hosted by Lance.

It's going to be straight ridiculous.

Slapping People in Public
Credit carding their butt cheeks with my hand.
Drinking a half gallon of milk and running a mile.
Getting slapped with a slab of steak, hard.
Punching each other simultaneously.
Getting a complete stranger to slap me.
Kissing a complete stranger.
Etc.

Don't want to give it all away.

I'm definitely going to be in some other mindset to do this.

Maybe it will help me be a little less apprehensive about everything haha.

What's today?

It's a few days after Christmas and I have been totally lazy, a sloth for the past week now. I should of gone and worked out today, but I didn't. I will FOR SURE on Monday.

I have been learning a lot about myself and what not over the past couple of days.
Charisma Arts is helping out as well. The community there is amazing. They all know exactly what each other is dealing with and know exactly what to do about it.

On my end of life, girls are becoming, more transparent? or rather not transparent, but I am becoming more comfortable. Not that I was every shy, but I wasn't completely myself around them. Now, it's become easier and more fun in reality. That's what I really have to do is think about it as fun.

Anyways, I am reading The Arabian Nights I think it's a wonderful book so far and you all(the few if any who read this) should check it out.


Hopefully I start writing more on here, yeah?

New Mark

So, I have decided to officially mark this weekend as the beginning of the time where I began to change my life. I haven't really been known as one in the past as being a "ladies man" nor do I plan to be coined as that or put in that category. However, I do plant to make a change to become more attractive through my own changes to women in the way that I talk, act, stand, look, etc. It may seem lame to people that read about my future adventures or w/e. However, this blog is for me and not you.

The Three

So, tonight was pretty fun. It didn't start out the greatest. The game was god, we dominated whoever we played(I don't know), and then a bunch of us went to Mr. C's. Then afterwards drove around blah blah....ended up at Davids...some of us...then katie called me asked if i wanted to hang out with her sarah and molly...I of course....said yes...

It was a good time surprisingly we ended up going to Perkins at midnight and convinced skyler to come with us haha we got about about 2:15. It was alot of fun actually...Katie rocks my socks at the Radio Game...ridiculous...I never listen to the radio though so w/e...haha

Sarah, looked good as always. I got a lot of different signs from her tonight though. Some good ones mostly. It was fairly interesting. I think my whole appearance, more in shape and fit, and my over all confidence in that and just the way I carry myself now is finally showing through. We'll see what's going on.

Alison Smith wants to go get dinner sometime this next week at Checkerboard.
Stacia and me are supposed to hang out this week....
I plan on making plans with Sarah this week(yes plans for plans)
and Courtney is being Court...one day she is all for us hanging out the next she doesn't answer me when I call...so I just let her have her fun and w/e...I think I'm falling into the friends category there but...w/e that's where I was before we didn't really talk for about a year...w/e..

So more like the four....but what to do...pursue one? pursure two? three? four? who knows...

we'll see how many of the past three things I mentioned happened...and if I hang out with all for...who knows...

anyways it's getting late and im getting tired...figured I would just let you know what was going on...

My Work, Ankle Etc.

Just got ready for my first day of work...haha first time I have ever worn a vest other than prom. I like it though. I look good...black pants, black docs, black belt, white button up shirt with the sleeves rolled, gray 5 button vest, black tie.....work casual haha that's what they said this is what i thought...

My senior pictures came in yesterday. I think I'm going to go pick them up tonight. This way when I go eat with my sister she can see them and then my mom later tonight. I'm kind of excited for them.

My ankle was still pretty swollen today. At least I could walk on it though.
Oh wait, I haven't told you. Yeah I REINJURED my ankle. This time worse. I overstretched the three tendons below the outside bone on my ankle and tore the sac surrounding my ankle TWICE!
Doc said I'm out of soccer 6-8 weeks with a possible parole at 4 or 5 weeks if I have good behavior(healing). We'll see how it all turns out.

No more time though I'm heading out.
I'm starting to get more regular at this aren't it?

No Soccer?

How am I going to put up with not playing soccer for six through eight weeks?
Damn tendons and sack around my ankle....
I stretched the tendons and tore the sack TWICE and now I have to sit out 6-8 weeks....

what am i going to do with myself?? that's what I want to know...i mean seriously.....

soccer is all I know...all I'm good at...all I do...

gah...we'll see where it goes from here...

damn ankle..

Curiosity

I lost my cell phone today. Curiously enough, I wasn't really worried about it once I sat down and thought about it. I lost it in one of three places: school, car, rec center. In which case I will be able to find it regardless. Also, my cell phone isn't all important. Sure it provides me with an easy, convenient way to communicate with people, but if I really need to talk to someone I can drive over and see them. So, I guess it's just sort of curious how I have no qualms about losing my cell phone. Where as most people are ready to die.

Maybe I should change the name of my Blog?

What do you think?

This surely isn't an almost daily reminder of my life? Far from it in fact. More like Almost Monthly Life by Jared Krauss. Who's paying attention anyways though. Not as though it really matters. This is for me and no one else.

So, if anyone gets mad about it. Not my problem; I'm not writing for you. I'm writing for me and you. I haven't decided to who "you" are yet. When I do, you will be the first one to know though.

Oh, new book read you all should read. Well, actually, only if you love soccer; it's called "How Soccer Explains the World: An Un-Likely Theory on Globalization" by Franklin Foer. Quite a good book. You all should read it and enjoy it.

tsk tsk

Security is the feeling we feel when we believe we're impenetrable.
A tightness in our grip, the extra push in our step, knowing were invincible.
Knowing were able to do more than before.
Thinking is different than knowing, and thinking only leads the poor.
Knowing something to be truth.
Knowing something to be truth.
How can you ever believe something?
How can you ever believe something is truth?
Truth is like a long rug on a shiny wooden floor.
All somebody has to do is grab one end and run out the door.
Your feet, on top of the rug, go with it. You go into the air.
You don't even know what's happened, and you don't even care.
All you know is that your back really hurts and life isn't fair.
So, security is simply a truth standing on a rug of falsehood.
As soon as someone grabs a single thread of it they just have to take it and run and they can tear the truth right out from underneath you.

Life's busy.

Life has been kind of hectic right now.

Between being on student senate and getting that organized. Working out every day. Volleyball on the days I don't have other things. I know I said volleyball right...well first I was asked to be stat taker then I sort of willingly/unwillingly got sucked into manager by the coach. Which I can't really complain...I mean let's be honest ;).

Then I have soccer on wednesdays from 4-7 Rec team 4-5 Club team 5-6 then my practice 6-7...
So Coach Coach Play Then I coach and referee on saturdays and play on sundays and have a childs father coach the club games i can't attend on sundays as well...

Also, I'm working on my college applications right now....
They are driving me up the wall...I want to work on them but...yeah it's just a slow process...
U of Texas
U of Oregon
U of Washington

Right now my order of wanting to go is

U of Washington
U of Texas
U of Oregon

UW is my goal...if I get accepted there with some good scholarships I'll most definitely go...
UT is sort of a backup but growing on me...I have other interests there that might persuade me to go there depending on the out come of some other situations...namely a girl :D haha she's...well she's exactly what I have been looking for...but shhh don't tell her that haha it ruins everything ;)...
UO is mostly just a backup plan that is there. It's a good school but easier to get into then the other two...

If I get a full ride or close to in scholarships to any of them I would almost HAVE to go there...I couldn't pass that up...hopefully once I get all my work in and FAFSA and scholarships and what not my decision will be easier...

I guess it's safe to say
I'm mostly tied on UW and UT but UW has a slight edge right now...

Like I said. My life is busy.

Senior Year - A look Back on the Summer

Senior Year started last week for me. I'll come back to this later though. Maybe in another post.

Right now I want to take a look back at my Summer.


As you could see by previous posts I started working out with Atila and Nolan in July. Well, now I workout either with them or on my own every day of the week except Saturday and Sunday.

It has really paid dividends. Not only that though. Eating right. Not even being on a diet. I just don't eat junk food anymore. I have really cut back on everything that's not natural. I mean obviously everyonce in a while I have a cheeseburger from hardee's or something. However, that doesn't mean I eat there everyday. Really though. When it came to eating. I just needed to start eating more natural food. Rather then all this fabricated junk.

I guess other people than just me have noticed as well. I have gotten alot of compliments on how I look now from a wide range of people. You know that are just little boosters. Me trying to be slightly modest just respond with the simple, "I try. Thanks."

It's nice though. To see the results of hard work. Now, my goal is to get cut. I'm getting stronger and losing the fat. Now I just need to take it to the next level.
I'll get there. Just a matter of time.

Also, I have grown up alot in just the last few months. I'm not sure exactly where, how, or why. I just know I have. My life is alot more ordered now. Also, a lot more free. I have come to accept a lot of things in life as results of everyone else and I just need to do my part in it. Right now my life motto is: C'est La Vie. It's French meaning "Such is Life" I take it as meaning there are somethings you can't do anything about but complain and worry. Since I'm a logical person I see no benefit from doing either of those. So, I accept my situation and work on, through, or around it.

I'm starting to see my life really take shape and have potential.
Everyone keeps telling me how I'm doing to do this and accomplish that. How I'm going to be a millionaire without even trying or change the world. Those would be all well and good. However, that's not what I want to just jump to. I want to take the journey to get there. I want the experiences that make the result worth while. I know it's really cliche but it's the Journey that makes life worth while not the million dollars at the end.

Oh. P.S. You should check out the band "The Kooks" they are from England and extremely good. At least I enjoy them.

Books- Fight Club - Everyday Philosophy

Sorry for any errors in my writing I'm to lazy to go through and edit it right now...